i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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