Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize