Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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