we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Drunk is not a location!
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