VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Randomize