This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
