Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
