Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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