just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
