he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sext me about skeletons
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
