3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
