I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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