My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
