escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
