just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
