I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
