I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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