My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
