would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
