I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize