I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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