I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
