that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
