his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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