Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Someone signed my nipple.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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