Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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