he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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