Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize