so let's talk penis.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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