i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize