They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
