I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize