He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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