you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
