Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
