i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
