So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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