it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
