I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
