Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
