Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
