i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
