Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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