Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
