This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
