We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
