Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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