you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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