I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
