respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
