Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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