Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I need to calm my uterus...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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