My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my shit smells like andre
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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