tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
