Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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