I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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