I wish I could punch you in the face.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
