TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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